Is The Bully A Bully?
Many of us, when we think of the term “bully,” will automatically think of bullying by school children. What we don’t think of, however, is that those school bullies grow up and become adult bullies and will most likely find their victims in the workplace.
There is no question that bullies are insecure, inadequate people and they consider power to be when they can humiliate and intimidate someone else.
So, is the bully a bully?
Could this person who is mean to others and makes working with them impossible simply rude and overbearing? Ask yourself this question: Does the rude, uncivil person make you feel stressed out?
The Workplace Bullying Institute has a great example of what this means: “Incivilities and rudeness rarely trigger stress in the people who experience them. Toe picking, knuckle cracking, belching, and nostril reaming are all offensive and undignified. However, they reflect only on the socialization of the picker, cracker, belcher, and reamer. It’s not bullying until the bully does something to the Target. If the bully picks the Target’s toes (against her wishes) or picks her nose (without permission) and this offensive behavior hurts her emotionally, it could be bullying. Inadvertent social mistakes, not expressly done to affect another person, may be cute to talk about, but they do not qualify as bullying according to our criteria.”
“Chris Pearson, Ph.D. is an “incivilities” researcher. Her survey of workers who admitted they were the targets of rudeness or disrespect revealed that 12% felt compelled to leave their jobs. Whereas, WBI research of bullied Targets found that 66% (according to our 2010 national survey) had to lose or give up their jobs to make the bullying stop.”
There are many signs of workplace bullying. I have written an article entitled “Signs of Workplace Bullying.” You can read more about how you can know that what you are experiencing in the workplace is in fact bullying.
I have also written an article called “Characteristics of a Workplace Bully” that can point out specific things that bullies do to threaten, intimidate and abuse an employee.
Finally, I have an article that deals with the “Effects of Workplace Bullying.” In that article, I explain what bullying can do to a person psychologically as well as physically.
I hope you take a few minutes to read through those articles.
The organization Mental Health America has written a wonderful article on workplace bullying and specifically about the workplace culture and bullying and I would like to share part of it with you.
“Workplace culture impacts all aspects of a business, from day-to-day functioning to the organization’s bottom line. In his book, From Bully to Bull’s Eye, Andrew Faas describes three types of workplace cultures: dictatorial, disjointed, and stable.
- Dictatorial Culture: The dictatorial workplace relies on power and control. The boss is typically a bully, and bullying is encouraged as a means of advancement throughout the company. There are high levels of secrecy and jealousy, with little room for positive relationships among employees.
- Disjointed Culture: As its name suggests, the disjointed workplace is lacking in core values and checks and balances on power. While it may appear hierarchical and bureaucratic, there is little enforcement and emotional reactions are common when handling conflicts. These workplaces are often filled with cronyism and nepotism and may not provide clear feedback on employee performance.
- Stable Culture: The stable culture provides clear goals, rules, and values for employees. Communication is open and clear, and conflicts are dealt with effectively, absent fear of retaliation. Employees are supported, encouraged, and rewarded based on quality of work. Everyone understands the role they play in the company and works together to ensure success for all, not just certain individuals.
While a stable workplace culture is ideal, many workplaces have dictatorial and disjointed cultures. In addition to threatening the long-term stability of the organization, these two workplace cultures provide a space where bullying can– and often does– thrive.”
I can certainly understand why there are employees who are uncertain if their co-worker or boss is a bully because I two was uncertain when I started working for what I now know as “the bully.” It is hard to believe that an adult in authority can treat a subordinate in such a mean and abusive manner. However, research is now showing that two out of every 5 people have been bullied at work, and that almost half of those targeted suffer stress-related health problems.
My Plans For the Future
It has been a long, hard journey for me and I am still dealing with the bully at work. However, I have a plan! I hope to be able to leave this job and the misery behind and begin a new phase of my life. I have joined a wonderful community called Wealthy Affiliate which is teaching me how to build websites and be able to work from home. Although it is a slow process (because of a full-time job) but steadily I am moving forward and I am very excited about my new life!
I am also taking CBD BioCare Oil which is helping tremendously with my physical and emotional health. It too has helped and I am very lucky to have found it.
If you are struggling with a workplace bully, please know that you are not alone. There are people out there that care about your well-being. If you want to share your story or just to talk, please leave a comment below. I will always get back with you.
Thank you for taking the time to read my article and best of luck in your future!
— Bully Basher