My Story of Working For a Bully

Signs of Workplace Bullying

Signs of Workplace Bullying

Stop Bullying

My workplace bullying experience started many years ago and there wasn’t a term for it although it certainly existed throughout the country. Personally, I have had a few awful bosses and some distasteful situations occur in my working life. However, I had never quite experienced what I have experienced in my current job. To finally have a name for it is a big help. Knowing what those signs are is even better.

There is a wonderful organization called the Workplace Bullying Institute (WBI) that has tons of information and advice on workplace bullying. I would like to share some of their signs of workplace bullying.

Signs You May be Experiencing Outside of Work

First, they point out signs you may be experiencing outside of work. I know when I first read these, I realized I was being bullied. The signs are:

  • “You feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week”
    • For me, this was an absolute “yes” so check.
  • “Your frustrated family demands that you to stop obsessing about work at home”
    • Check
  • “Your doctor asks what could be causing your skyrocketing blood pressure and recent health problems, and tells you to change jobs”
    • Check
  • “You feel too ashamed of being controlled by another person at work to tell your spouse or partner”
    • This one didn’t apply to me as I told everyone!
  • “All your paid time off is used for “mental health breaks” from the misery”
    • Check
  • “Days off are spent exhausted and lifeless, your desire to do anything is gone”
    • Check
  • “Your favorite activities and fun with family are no longer appealing or enjoyable”
    • Check
  • “You begin to believe that you provoked the workplace cruelty”
    • Check.

Bullying Boss

Signs At Work

Then WBI goes on to explain what might be happening at work which are signs of workplace bullying:

  • “You attempt the obviously impossible task of doing a new job without training or time to learn new skills, but that work is never good enough for the boss”
    • This one for me is partially true. When I started working for the bully, I was experienced so the training and learning new skills wasn’t really a problem. However, the work being never good enough for the boss was definitely true, so check.
  • “Surprise meetings are called by your boss with no results other than further humiliation”
    • Check
  • “Everything your tormentor does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working a personal agenda that undermines the employer’s legitimate business interests”
    • Check
  • “Others at work have been told to stop working, talking, or socializing with you” 
    • Luckily, I didn’t have this problem as everyone is a target.
  • “You are constantly feeling agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen”
    • Check, check, and check.
  • “No matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference”
    • Check
  • “People feel justified screaming or yelling at you in front of others, but you are punished if you scream back”
    • Well, if the people they are referring to is the boss, then check
  • “HR tells you that your harassment isn’t illegal, that you have to “work it out between yourselves”
    • This office doesn’t have an HR. The boss is it.
  • “You finally, firmly confront your tormentor to stop the abusive conduct and you are accused of harassment”
    • Haven’t had this one happen yet, but it wouldn’t surprise me if that would happen
  • “You are shocked when accused of incompetence, despite a history of objective excellence, typically by someone who cannot do your job”
    • Check
  • “Everyone — co-workers, senior bosses, HR — agrees (in person and orally) that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (and later, when you ask for their support, they deny having agreed with you)”
    • Thank goodness I have support from fellow co-workers.
  • “Your request to transfer to an open position under another boss is mysteriously denied”
    • Darn, if only there was another position!

Bullying Quote

So, if you are experiencing any of the above and questioned whether the person you are dealing with is a bully, I hope this information shows you that you are, in fact, dealing with a bully in the workplace.

Another Option to Consider

As I started struggling more and more with what to do to get away from the workplace bully, I started doing research on ways to make money online from home. I’m older (close to retirement age) and as I’ve told you in prior posts, not only are jobs extremely scarce in my professional background, but I knew my age would be a big factor in getting hired somewhere. Who wants to hire someone about ready to retire? Probably wouldn’t happen. Hence, the reason for checking out online opportunities.

Wealthy Affiliate

 

I came across a company called Wealthy Affiliate, researched it, decided it was a legitimate company, and joined. Not once have I regretted my decision. I am learning how to make websites (like this one) and they provide constant support, supervision and a fantastic community of like-minded people from all over the world that want the same thing – to learn how to make money online! On top of all that, having something to reach for, something to hope for, and something to believe in, has turned my life around. I am not nearly as depressed at work because I now have a plan!

If you would like to read a blog I published within Wealthy Affiliate about my progress, click here!

Final Thoughts

If you are trying to deal with a workplace bully, please leave a comment below. I want to hear from you and, if I can, help you get out of your miserable situation. I am finding that telling my story is helping me, maybe it can help you too.

Here’s to the day we can say, “Workplace Bully – Bye Bye!”

–The Bully Basher

 

Spread the love

16 thoughts on “Signs of Workplace Bullying

  1. This is a great informative article. I think this will help anyone who is experiencing workplace bullying to identify and really do something about it.
    Wealthy Affiliate is an awesome place to learn how to be your own boss and work for yourself from anywhere you want to. Thanks for the suggestion!

    1. Thanks for commenting Cynthia! I really do want people to realize that their is a difference in a boss who is just a jerk and a boss who is a bully. I know that Wealthy Affiliate is giving me hope for a better future!

  2. Hi,

    Thanks a lot for your article. I really enjoyed reading it. Having a bullying boss can really decrease the quality of your overall life. Work is a huge part of life and when you hate your job, you hate a big part of your life. Therefore, I find it very important to pursue something that you enjoy doing. I really like your wealthy affiliate suggestions as this seems much more enjoyable than working for someone else.

    1. You are so right when you say that hating your job is causing hate in your life. It really does take a toll on people when they are forced, usually because they have to have a job, to work in an awful workplace environment. I am loving Wealthy Affiliate and I hope soon I can pursue my online work full-time and say goodbye to the hate in my life! I appreciate your kind words, thank you. 

  3. Hi,

    So sad to know some people will go to work under bulling circumstances and won’t be a good work place to work at.

    As I read your article I could see how a bad environment workplace can do to peoples health, it is so hard ton peoples physical and emotional health to work on a place like that.

    I’m glad you’re writing a website where people can read more on how to protect them and what they can do to change it and start a better lifestyle. 

    I will follow your advice and I will take a look to your recommendation. 

    1. Thank you so much for your comment Wayne. Working in a hostile environment most certainly can cause physical and emotional problems. I speak from experience on that. I am hoping to reach out to those in the workplace that are dealing with a bully and to try to show them alternatives. I know for me I am confident that soon I will be able to do something I love rather than endure the negativity that surrounds my workplace now. I appreciate your thoughts and I hope you do look into my recommendations! Please keep in touch. 

  4. Hey there! Thank so much for this information. I wish I had it a few years back when I actually dealt with workplace bullying. It was the opposite way around though. I was the supervisor and older people under me didn’t like me so they would say all sorts of things to me, not listen, do the opposite of what I said and more. I hope that this information helps others to deal with this sort of thing because it is uncomfortable and as you also pointed out, can have really bad impacts on one’s health.

    Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing!

    Marlinda

    1. Thanks Marlinda for sharing your experience. I honestly hadn’t thought about a supervisor being bullied by their subordinates but it does make sense. I imagine there was one person in particular that instigated the bullying and the others just followed along. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Bullying is awful and it just goes to show that it can happen to anyone at anytime. I hope you are in a much better place now. Thank you for sharing your experience and I hope you will come back again! 

  5. Thanks for the great post.  I sat down and compared my working situation with each of the signs you listed here.  I’m one of the lucky ones that doesn’t have a bullying situation (at least not at the moment) in my current job.  That has not necessarily been the case in my previous positions.

    The list of at work and outside of work signs is perfect for performing an evaluation on bullying.

    It is very nice that bullying in general (not just the workplace but in other places such as schools) is now in the limelight and getting the attention it needs.  Bringing these serious issues to light, makes it harder for companies/schools, etc. to turn a blind eye and bullies to get away with it.

    It’s interesting that you found Wealthy Affiliate.  I too have joined up with them and I love it.

    Thanks again for the post!

    1. Thank you Scott! I am so glad you do not have to deal with a bully where you work. I hope that continues. I know for years I didn’t know what a workplace bully was and had never heard anyone complain about this problem. You are right that it seems to be coming into the light and people are starting to realize that there are bullies among them. I really hope that this movement continues and that bullying will be stopped once and for all. For me, I’m not going to wait much longer before I get out and I know that Wealthy Affiliate is the answer. I am glad you found it too and I hope you are having much success! Please keep me posted on your endeavors. 

  6. I do not have the problem of the work place bully, but there are many people who do, and this is becoming more and more dominant in the work place and sadly our youth are also being effected by bullying. It is very important that people recognise the signs early and never, never keep quite about what is happening. bullying has become a serious issue everywhere, thank you for addressing this. Very sad that you had to go through something so terrible. 

    1. I appreciate your comment Carmen. I am very glad you are not dealing with a workplace bully. It does seem like bullying is everywhere but fortunately we are starting to talk about it and maybe one of these days the bully will be pushed out of the office and the school. I am looking forward to the day I can say, “bye bye bully” to my boss! 

  7. Workplace bullying is real and almost all of us has exprienced agony. You can never please a boss with your hard work or dedication. You have raised a issue that is relavant to me and I just want to esacape from it. You have mentioned about wealthy affiliate here. I read some reviews about it and totally surprised by the result people getting from it. Thanks for the solution. Lets see how it works for me. Thanks

    1. Thanks for your comment. It sounds like you are going through a bad situation and if you ever want to talk, please send me an email. Although Wealthy Affiliate is not an overnight fix, with time and patience, it does work. I am very confident that I will be able to get out of this mess and find my true calling by working from home and working on websites. Please let me know how you get along at Wealthy Affiliate. I would love to hear about your success! 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *